What I learned from a day of shopping
December 3rd 2006 16:27
As a freelance writer my income varies each month, it can be as meager as a few dollars or as blissful as a couple thousand or more. This month I got a nice paycheck and I swore to give myself a treat because, hey I deserve it, don't I?
So I made a list of the items I wanted to purchase, most of them are for personal care such as my fave brand of shampoo and conditioner, face powder, lipstick. I also wanted to buy new pants and blouses. I really got excited as I was jotting down my "must haves". You see I seldom buy stuff for myself, often I end up buying things for my loved ones and saving the rest.
So there I was at the mall, list on one hand, purse on the other and the first thing I grabbed was a Disney Princess bedsheet for my daughter. I continued shopping until my feet started to ache and as i looked down at my cart I noticed there were more stuff in there for my loved ones than for me.
Then it hit me.....spending money on myself actually made me feel guilty. It made me feel so guilty that I felt the need to buy things for others to try and appease the guilt. Even if they didn't ask me to buy them anything, even if I have been longing to buy things for myself for months.
Self-love, we all struggle with this. Some have too much self-love, others lack it. There are those who are givers, nurturers, sometimes doing more than are expected of them. In the process they sometimes lose themselves and ignore their needs.
I've been one of those people, I still am. I've been on that road before, I should have learned my lesson by now...
So I carefully picked up each "unwanted" item from my shopping cart and returned it. I shouldn't feel guilty, this is my day, I've earned it. I bought most of the stuff on my list and decided to buy a pizza for them. They will still love me.
We had a nice dinner.
So I made a list of the items I wanted to purchase, most of them are for personal care such as my fave brand of shampoo and conditioner, face powder, lipstick. I also wanted to buy new pants and blouses. I really got excited as I was jotting down my "must haves". You see I seldom buy stuff for myself, often I end up buying things for my loved ones and saving the rest.
So there I was at the mall, list on one hand, purse on the other and the first thing I grabbed was a Disney Princess bedsheet for my daughter. I continued shopping until my feet started to ache and as i looked down at my cart I noticed there were more stuff in there for my loved ones than for me.
Then it hit me.....spending money on myself actually made me feel guilty. It made me feel so guilty that I felt the need to buy things for others to try and appease the guilt. Even if they didn't ask me to buy them anything, even if I have been longing to buy things for myself for months.
Self-love, we all struggle with this. Some have too much self-love, others lack it. There are those who are givers, nurturers, sometimes doing more than are expected of them. In the process they sometimes lose themselves and ignore their needs.
I've been one of those people, I still am. I've been on that road before, I should have learned my lesson by now...
So I carefully picked up each "unwanted" item from my shopping cart and returned it. I shouldn't feel guilty, this is my day, I've earned it. I bought most of the stuff on my list and decided to buy a pizza for them. They will still love me.
We had a nice dinner.
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Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
It's a nasty trap isn't it. I remember my mum would always take the burnt steak and leave the "good ones" for us and if we were still hungry she would hand over her dinner. I find myself doing the very same thing with my children.
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by Hope
Gifted Parenting
Freelance For Life